My story

The Bystander Purpose

Why I Chose to Become a Coach and the Purpose of This Site

As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the profound impact certain philosophies and stories have had on my life. One question that has continually stirred my soul is, "Who am I?" Rooted in Vedanta philosophy, this timeless inquiry invites us to look beyond our physical forms, thoughts, and emotions. It suggests that we are not merely our bodies or minds, but the eternal observer—the witness—the bystander to all experiences.

This perspective has not only guided my personal growth but also ignited my desire to help others uncover their true selves. A story that encapsulates this journey and has deeply influenced my purpose is one I first encountered at the age of 14 or 15. It comes from Born To Win by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward.

The story is as follows...

Once upon a time, while walking through the forest, a certain man found a young eagle. He took it home and put it in his barnyard where it soon learned to eat chicken feed and to behave as chickens behave.

One day, a naturalist who was passing by inquired of the owner why it was that an eagle, the king of all birds, should be confined to live in the barnyard with the chickens.

"Since I have given it chicken feed and trained it to be a chicken, it has never learned to fly," replied the owner. "It behaves as chickens behave, so it is no longer an eagle."

"Still," insisted the naturalist, "it has the heart of an eagle and can surely be taught to fly."

After talking it over, the two men agreed to find out whether this was possible. Gently, the naturalist took the eagle in his arms and said, "You belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly."

The eagle, however, was confused; he did not know who he was, and, seeing the chickens eating their food, he jumped down to be with them again.

Undismayed, the naturalist took the eagle on the following day to the roof of the house and urged him again, saying, "You are an eagle. Stretch forth your wings and fly." But the eagle was afraid of his unknown self and the world and jumped down once more for the chicken food.

On the third day, the naturalist rose early and took the eagle out of the barnyard to a high mountain. There, he held the king of birds high above him and encouraged him again, saying, "You are an eagle. You belong to the sky as well as to the earth. Stretch forth your wings now, and fly."

The eagle looked around, back towards the barnyard and up to the sky. Still, he did not fly. Then the naturalist lifted him straight towards the sun, and it happened that the eagle began to tremble. Slowly he stretched his wings. At last, with a triumphant cry, he soared away into the heavens.

It may be that the eagle still remembers the chickens with nostalgia; it may even be that he occasionally revisits the barnyard. But as far as anyone knows, he has never returned to lead the life of a chicken. He was an eagle, though he had been kept and tamed as a chicken.

This story has left a lasting impact on me. It inspired me to discover my own potential through learning and experimentation, and it fueled my passion to support others in uncovering who they truly are. Like the eagle in this tale, each of us possesses immense natural potential waiting to be realized.

Coaching has been instrumental in helping me explore my potential, and I am dedicated to helping others do the same. My mission is to support people in finding their purpose and unlocking their innate abilities. I believe that through self-discovery and personal growth, we can all soar to new heights.

The first time I experienced coaching in action was at Landmark Education, where, with the guidance of coaches, I learned to transcend limitations and create impactful results. The Course Supervisor Program helped me develop deep listening, self-awareness, and empathy. Pursuing ICF-accredited courses further equipped me with effective coaching processes, valuable tools and techniques, and a strong understanding of the code of conduct and ethics in professional coaching. Yet, the most profound learning came from practice sessions with fellow coaches and conducting actual coaching engagements.

You might have noticed a section on Executive Coaching. I added this after losing my job at a global bank due to redundancy—a pivotal moment that reinforced my commitment to building a community of thoughtful individuals. Despite this unexpected turn, I remain steadfast in my dedication to inspire people to share, reflect, write, and explore. I believe that even in times of uncertainty, we have the power to create meaningful change in our lives and the lives of others.

Now, I invite you to embark on this journey of self-discovery and transformation. Ask yourself, "Who am I?" and dare to explore the boundless potential within you. Like the eagle, it's time to stretch forth your wings and soar towards your true destiny.

Come, explore, reflect, and create. Let's think deeply, act purposefully, and make something extraordinary happen—together.

Warm regards,

Raghavendra/Raghav/Ragz/R